


If Nothing Else

by noelre



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Blow Jobs, Falling In Love, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 05:53:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10870467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noelre/pseuds/noelre
Summary: At first Reyes thought that this was okay.This, casual fucking, holding Scott close, feeling his burning skin against his own, as if that would be enough of satisfaction. Now he realized he craved more. Wanted more than Scott was clearly ready to give.





	If Nothing Else

**Author's Note:**

> I was all about that Gil/Scott-life, then Reyes came along. I manage to write so rarely that whenever I do, I'm just happy that it's at least half-decent.

_If nothing else… let me savor this moment._

The thought rang in Reyes’ head for the umpteenth time as he watched Scott’s naked chest heave up and down in his sleep. Reyes was propped up on his elbow, cool façade but turmoil inside him. The way Scott looked when he slept was all too peaceful, like he had died and only pretend to still be alive now. Scott’s dark brows and strong features always drew Reyes in, just like they did now. He couldn’t help but stare. He should have just put his clothes on and leave, but he couldn’t. He never could.

 

Slowly he released the tension from his arm and slumped back down on the bed. Inches separated the men. Reyes’ fingertips trembled in the urge to touch, to stroke, to tell the feelings that he couldn’t bear to say aloud yet again. He moved his hand closer, his index fingers brushing against Scott’s bicep. The skin was warm to touch, and the lower he got towards the wrist, the finer the hair became. A lump rose to Reyes’ throat, hard and heavy, and he didn’t know how to swallow it away. When Scott moved in his sleep, Reyes pulled his hand back, fast like a small animal escaping its predator.

 

Scott was… _beautiful_. Reyes had had his fair share of every form of relationships, but never had he seen someone so beautiful. He was mesmerized, in awe, whenever Scott agreed to stumble in Reyes’ quarters and have the most amazing, mind-blowing, let-me-fuck-your-brains-out sex there was in the whole of Andromeda.

 

_Bang_. There it was, the harsh jab straight in the middle of his heart. It was hard, being in love. It was probably the hardest thing in Reyes’ life, simply because Scott did not reciprocate.

 

Or, he _had_. And then Reyes fucked it up by betraying Scott’s trust.

 

_Fuck_.

 

At first Reyes thought that this was okay. _This_ , casual fucking, holding Scott close, feeling his burning skin against his own, as if that would be enough of satisfaction. Now he realized he craved more. Wanted more than Scott was clearly ready to give. The first rush of having sex was long gone, because Reyes wanted nothing more than to hold Scott close afterwards, whisper sweet-nothings when they fell asleep and continue the whispering when they woke up.

 

Sure, they woke up together, but there was always a gap between them. It was only few inches, but those few inches made the backs of Reyes’ eyes burn and his stomach turn upside down.

 

This thought process had become very familiar in the last few months. It was always followed by self-blame. _Why didn’t you trust_ , he kept asking the ceiling he now stared as he rolled on his back. _Why couldn’t you just—you had him, he was there, you were falling love, why, why, idiot, why—_

 

“Mmm…”

 

Every fiber in Reyes’ body froze. Slowly, carefully, he turned to look at Scott who rolled on his side facing him. Scott squeezed his eyes shut, and then opened them.

 

Reyes’ heart stopped.

 

“Hi,” Scott murmured below his breath and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t open them again but curled up even more. “What time is it?”

 

“Um,” was all that left Reyes’ mouth at first. Anyone who knew him would laugh, his confident and cocky self buried somewhere on the floor beside his socks. “Eleven, I think?”

 

“Fuck.” Scott sighed and moved on his back, slow and clumsy.

 

Reyes dared to move closer and propped himself up on his elbows again. “Why, do you have to be somewhere?”

 

“Sort of.” Scott sat up and buried his head to his palms, ruffled his hair, and then turned to Reyes. “What?”

 

Reyes’ brows drew in. “What, _what_?”

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like…” Scott nodded at Reyes. He paused, and then sighed, reached for the floor and pulled up his undershirt. He shook his head. “Forget it.”

 

“No.” Reyes grabbed Scott by his bicep, and an electric shock traveled down his spine. Just a little touch like that, and he was already a goner. He had such a hard time during sex, but little touches like these always felt different. Scott didn’t pull back, either. Reyes examined his fingers curling around the muscle and dared to glance up at Scott. He considered his next word carefully, tasted it in his mind before spurting it out. “Stay.”

 

Scott looked at him. Didn’t say a word. The silence prolonged and turned heavy in the small space that Reyes had claimed as his quarters. He only wanted to hear one word, but at that point even “no” would have sufficed. He just needed _something_. Something other than the limbo they had settled in with each other. Scott’s skin was warm beneath Reyes’ fingers, so familiar. Reyes dared to brush the skin. Scott moved.

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Scott admitted. He finally moved farther away and pulled on his shirt, turned his back.

 

“Then stop playing with my damn heart.” Reyes ran his fingers through his hair.

 

Scott’s movements slowed down, then died. He turned to look at Reyes, teeth biting into his lower lip.

 

_Hesitation_.

 

“I’m serious,” Reyes said and got up and, with more aggression than he ever wanted, pulled on his underwear. This was it. Time to end it. “I’ve had enough. I have such… such feelings for you, and you just play. You play this—“

 

“Reyes.”

 

“—this game that I no longer want to be part of—“

 

“Reyes.”

 

Reyes pressed his lips tightly together and stared. The men stood at either side of the bed, unmoving, looking. Reyes’ skin prickled, his underwear clinging to his clammy skin in a way that made him want to squirm. His pulse pounded on his neck, his wrists, blood gushed through his veins. There was Scott, the man he so _adored_. Maybe he had bad taste in men, after all.

 

“You didn’t trust me.” Scott’s voice was soft, nearly apologetic.

 

“And how long ago was that? Five, six months?” Reyes sighed and crossed his arms loosely over his chest. “No sane man plays like this if he’s still mad.”

 

Scott stayed silent for a second. “Okay,” he finally said. “I’ll go.”

 

Just like that. Done. Finished, when the memory of last night still lingered on Reyes’ skin. He could still taste Scott’s mouth on his own, feel his skin against his. He gritted his teeth. “Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“ _Okay_.”

 

Scott gave Reyes one long look, gathered his belongings, and left.

 

Reyes stared at the closed door and then kicked his foot to the end of his bed. Immediately he regretted it with a sore toe, but it didn’t take away the miserable ache from his chest. It was difficult to breathe, heaving and lungs ready to give up. His mouth felt dry, his tongue almost swollen and completely in the way.

 

Fuck. _Fuck_.

 

His hands trembled as he yanked on his trousers. His skin was clammy under the tight fabric, his forehead damp, knuckles moist as he rubbed them. Licking his lips, Reyes stared at his toes. He rubbed his eyes with the pads of his thumbs, massaging the eyelids in a desperate attempt to soothe his burning insides. He tried so hard to find the positive sides of this mess. He was free to rule Kadara without a distraction now. He had spent months undermining his self-worth by thinking that he could handle just sex when he desperately wanted a relationship.

 

But, _damn_ , he was in love. Reyes Vidal, in love.

 

_In love_.

 

It hurt.

 

Reyes heaved out a sigh, his lungs utterly empty.

 

“You made it so difficult to stay away.”

 

Startled, Reyes turned around on his heels. In the doorway stood Scott, panting, cheeks red, hair ruffled. Reyes parted his lips, but nothing came out. He stared.

 

Scott stepped inside. The door closed behind his back. “I couldn’t stop,” he said and dropped the jacket he was holding to the unmade bed. “I _fell_ for you, and then you just… lied to me.”

 

Reyes’ heart pounded.

 

“But I couldn’t stay away. I _can’t_.” Scott walked closer, until he was right in front of Reyes. He looked into Reyes’ eyes, lips slightly parted. His breath was warm, inviting.

 

As much as Reyes wanted to stare at Scott’s eyes, he fixed his gaze on his lips instead. He moistened his own. “And why is that?” he murmured, voice soft.

 

Scott moved his fingers on Reyes’ chest, the fingertips dancing gently over the shirt. Eventually he grasped the fabric and pulled Reyes closer. “’Cause I’m still fallen.”

 

With one swift movement Reyes buried his fingers into Scott’s hair and kissed him hard. He pushed his mouth against Scott’s, tilted his head and yanked him close. It still wasn’t enough—it never was, until their naked skins were against each other, and even then Reyes wanted to be closer. He parted his lips and brushed his tongue against Scott’s, delved into a kiss that made the pit of his stomach turn upside down.

 

Familiar gesture—Scott grasped the front of Reyes’ shirt and pushed him against the nearest wall. The back of Reyes’ head hurt as it hit the wall, but every single complaint got buried against Scott’s lips. Low moan rumbled in his chest, deep within, and a small yet desperate moan managed to escape Reyes’ mouth. Reyes grabbed Scott from his waist and pulled him in, limbs mingling. They had tangled and danced like this the night before, too, but now it felt _different_. Better. Like all of Reyes’ senses were heightened, and he wanted nothing more than to suck Scott’s soul. He buried his fingers so hard into Scott’s hips that Scott grumbled.

 

“Ow,” Scott whispered.

 

“Ah.” A hint of a smile rose to Reyes’ lips. “You deserve it, for playing with my heart like that…”

 

“It’s your fault,” Scott murmured and pressed his mouth on Reyes’ neck.

 

Reyes’ eyes rolled, lids soon hooding them, and he dipped his head back when Scott began to feel his pulse on the thick veins of his throat. Reyes had troubles breathing, first forgetting to do it, then over-doing it. His cock stirred. He pulled Scott closer, groin against groin, and he felt Scott get excited as well. The kisses on his neck were sloppy, Scott’s hands finding their way underneath Reyes’ shirt. Reyes trembled, soft groans exiting his lips, wanting to stay quiet and cool-headed but couldn’t. He was being completely played here, but he didn’t even want it to stop. He wanted to give Scott full control—and let it happen.

 

Scott dropped down on his knees. A groan formed a lump in Reyes’ throat. He arched his back, shoulder blades hard against the wall, hands in Scott’s dark and silky hair. His chin pointed towards the ceiling as Scott dragged the pants down, exposing the heavy outline of Reyes’ cock. Reyes squeezed his eyes shut. Scott toyed with him, fingertips brushing against the girth, gently, softly, teasing, and Reyes knew he deserved it. The first proper stroke prompted a barely-there moan from Reyes.

 

“Fuck,” he mumbled under his breath, his accent thick and lush all of a sudden.

 

“I’m trying to.”

 

Reyes chuckled. “Very funn— _ah_ …”

 

Scott had taken Reyes’ cock in his mouth, fingers gripping at Reyes’ bare hips. The bottom of Reyes’ stomach tightened, toes curling, the back of his head pressing harder against the wall, hips jolting forward. It was a strange dance his body did, his entire being completely at Scott’s mercy. Reyes saw stars when he closed his eyes, stars more beautiful than any he had seen in the sky, and he knew that only Scott could make him feel like this. He was so _alive_ , cock inside that pretty mouth, hands stroking his skin.

 

In that moment, Reyes knew that this alone could never be enough. He wanted—no, _needed_ —to have Scott in every way possible.

 

He tapped Scott on his shoulder and motioned him to get back up on his feet. With surprisingly little resistance Scott obeyed and kissed him. Reyes tasted himself on the soft lips, but just this once decided not to say anything. He put his hands under Scott’s shirt, hasty, and yanked the fabric away, threw it on the floor, then did the same to his own shirt. He fumbled with the zipper of Scott’s trousers and, once succeeding, a slow grin rose to his lips upon wrapping his hand rather roughly around Scott’s dick. Scott had the most gorgeous, lust-blown eyes when their gazes locked. Something fluttered inside Reyes, warm and fuzzy.

 

A stroke, second, third, fifth, tenth—Reyes kept going until Scott was nothing more than a sensitive bundle of nerves in his hands. Reyes was clumsy as he pushed Scott from his hips toward the bed and made sure that Scott was the one beneath him without any clothes left. He scooped Scott in his arms and buried his face to Scott’s neck. Scott smelled sweaty and musky and of home, and it was the scent Reyes wanted to have all to himself for as long as he lived. Taking in a deep breath, he propped up to his elbows and looked at Scott. Despite his spit-slick cock demanding for attention, Reyes spared the moment to simply _look_ at Scott, the man he had so unconditionally fallen in love with, and the way the corners of his mouth turned up to a sweet smile.

 

Maybe this could all work out. Maybe they could be a couple, an _actual_ couple, in love and enjoying life. Maybe Scott could actually forgive him. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t a game. Or maybe he was just a masochist with a trait of foolish optimism.

 

Scott placed a hand on Reyes’ cheek. “What?”

 

Reyes blinked. “What, what?”

 

“Why are you looking like that?”

 

With a huff and smile, he shook his head. “How about we talk after?”

 

Scott agreed.

 

Reyes pressed his mouth against the side of Scott’s neck and peppered tentative kisses down his collarbone, in the middle of the chest and then toward the left nipple. With his lips he searched for a particular spot. He knew that by kissing it, he—and there it was, the delicious little mewl-like moan and arch of a back that crafted Scott’s body into the most beautiful creation in mankind. Reyes slid a hand beneath the arch, stroking the small of Scott’s back. There was color high on Scott’s cheeks and moans toying with his mouth.

 

Fingers glued to a fist around Scott’s dick, Reyes stroked with all the love and attention in the world. As much as he wanted to concentrate solely on Scott, he became heady as soon as Scott pawed his erection in return. Reyes delved into a kiss that was a wet and sloppy mess, drinking in the heat and intimacy. His hips gave out stuttered grind against Scott’s, and his moans soon started to mimic the way Scott sounded. Scott’s lips were parted ever so slightly, fine noises breaking away every other second. Blood thrummed in Reyes’ veins, gushing to his cock, his glans swollen and responding to Scott’s touch.

 

Reyes leaned in closer, lips to Scott’s ear. “I love you,” he muttered in the heat of the moment. His hips shuddered and nearly gave in. “ _Ah_ —love you…”

 

“Reyes…”

 

It happened so fast. Thick strings of white exploded and covered Reyes’ knuckles. Scott became a chaos of stretching limbs and soundless sighs. Scott’s hand stopped for a moment on Reyes’ cock, and out of the blue began again.

 

Reyes erupted. Embarrassingly so, loud and clear, toes curling and body shuddering on top of Scott. His thighs tightened, his dick stretching toward his belly once more, before he unraveled. His muscles unclenched and his breath hitched. Just before the inevitable collapse he managed to move just enough to the side to save Scott from the impact.

 

Eyes wide and lungs struggling, Reyes stared at the ceiling like he had so often done. This time, however, it felt different. There was a weird tingling in his stomach, warmth spreading throughout his toes and fingertips. Slow and careful, he closed his eyes. As soon as he did, he felt Scott’s breath against his ear. His mouth twitched.

 

“Hey,” Scott murmured.

 

Reyes thought for a moment. “Hey,” was his equal answer. He rolled on his side, desperately hoping but preparing for a disappointment. His hand itched to touch Scott’s cheek, stroke the stubble, feel the rough hair beneath his skin, but he resisted. Barely.

 

Scott, instead, moved a hand on Reyes’ hips and touched. Stroked. Reached towards Reyes’ groin again and touched. Reyes’ cock stirred in an eager response.

 

“What are you doing?” The question turned into something between a breathy chuckle and moan.

 

“What does it look like?”

 

“Not sure what it looks, but it _feels_ good.”

 

“Mm-hmm…” Scott tilted his head and rested the very fingertips on the spot where Reyes’ pubic hair began. The hint of a smile dissolved from his face.

 

Reyes pursed his lips. “I thought the sex was good, but you look like that.”

 

“It was. It _is_.” Scott sighed and inched closer. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“The thing you just said…” Scott ghosted his fingers along the outlines of Reyes’ hips. “Did you mean it?”

 

Reyes felt his face burn right above his cheekbones. He coughed. “I have said it before, haven’t I?”

 

“Mm… I’m not so sure.”

 

“Ah.” Reyes sucked in his lips until he could no longer feel them. The way Scott touched him made his heart flutter and his balls tighten once more. “Just a slip of a tongue, I guess.”

 

“Right.”

 

Reyes regretted it immediately. He sat up and buried his forehead to his palm. “Sorry, that’s not what… I meant it,” he said. “Yes, I meant… But I’m an afraid man now, Scott. So if you’ll turn me down, do it now and do it gently, I beg you.”

 

He flinched when Scott wrapped his arms around him from behind. Scott rested his chin on Reyes’ shoulder. His palm was right above Reyes’ heart, and the damn organ pounded like it was its last day alive.

 

“I don’t think I can.” Scott hummed. “I told you, I can’t stay away. So I won’t. I don’t want to.”

 

“So…” Reyes dared to look at Scott. “What does that mean?”

 

“That means…” Scott drew shapes over Reyes’ heart, “…that we could start with a dinner next week?”

 

“You mean…”

 

“Eating, drinking, talking. Maybe fucking. A date. _Actual_ date.”

 

Reyes hid his smile by sucking in his lips once more. He pressed his chin near his chest and shook his head in amusement. He didn’t have to think twice when he placed his hand over Scott’s. “And this time it’s not a game?”

 

“It never was.” Scott’s chin found Reyes’ shoulder again. “I was afraid, too. But I’m—I want this. I really do.”

 

_If nothing else…_ Fuck it. He wanted this, and anything less wouldn’t be enough. Reyes grabbed Scott’s arms and wrapped them around himself, interlaced their fingers together. Scott pressed his chest against Reyes’ back, and there they sat, together in a way they hadn’t done before.

 

It felt so damn _good_.

 

“How about a second round in few minutes?” Reyes suggested.

 

“Few minutes?” Scott grazed his teeth against Reyes’ ear. “Getting old?”

 

A hum rumbled in Reyes’ chest. He turned around and pinched Scott back to the bed. Lips twisting into a grin, he said, “I’ll show you old.”

 

The kiss they shared was light and tasted of laughter.


End file.
